I have been on the path of Urianism for 16yrs now, with a couple of years before that on a path that led to Urianism. I thought it time to share my story on how I got here. I will be as brief as I can.
I was raised in a family of Atheistic educators, artists, musicians, lawyers and doctors. I was always a black sheep. I didn't see things the way my family did. I didn't understand the world the way they did. I still don't.
Around the age of 10 or 11, while in 5th and 6th grades, two things came into my life that started me in the direction that would eventually become my path in Urianism. The first was from my mother. She introduced me to four things that, for her, were mere psychological tricks, but for me would become tools I would later use to help myself get into trouble. They were, Tarot reading, the Ouija board, the Pendulum and Transcendental Meditation. The second thing was the appearance of a certain book in my life: Johnathan Livingston Seagull.
I grabbed onto the idea of transcendence with both hands, since I had already learned to fear and sometimes loath the world I found myself in. When I was about 12yrs old, I had an out-of-body experience while meditating. I found myself in a realm I cannot describe as it did not have physical properties that I could define and did not contain sensory experiences that can be put into words. Suffice to say that I found myself floating among different colored lights that were beings. I was communicating with them in a total, empathic/telepathic way that transcended words and I cannot properly describe. The experience ended when my mother knocked on my door and the shock rocketed me back into my body with speed and pain.
Flash forward to just after high school, in a rock band whose members were all brothers and all Evangelical Christians. Needless to say, they worked on me every time we rehearsed. Eventually I allowed Jesus Christ to enter my heart and became born again.
Three months or so later, after witnessing the biblical ignorance of those who converted me, and the rampant hypocrisy in their ranks, I renounced the way.
The next phase of my spiritual experiences began with a friend who introduced me to Wicca. After reading several books on the subject, we decided to self initiate. I made many of the tool required and we started doing the ritual observances. We also began to delve into the new age movement in the area and started associating with people who called themself different kinds of Pagans or Witches. We used Ouija, read Tarot, visited graveyards, tried seances, summoning, etc. At one point the friend I was with experienced some dreams pointing him to a name...an name I won't mention here. He believed that the entity was one we should follow. We began to delve into darker workings.
It should go without saying that it did not end up well. Our lives and our friendship fell apart. It took me several years to climb back towards the light and repair the damage to my soul.
For the years after that, until I met the Oracle online, I called myself a Metaphysicist as a general term because I lacked any specific path. It was at that time that I began to create my own religion. While MSN Groups was still active I created a community and had gone quite a ways into it when I met the Oracle.
Feeling an instant connection with her, like a big sister, I talked to her as much as I could. She eventually introduced me to her husband...Uriah. When I saw his picture I felt as if I knew him, but could not say from where. She led me to his community, which I understand was not the first that he had created, and I got my first exposure to the idea of the neutral angels and the repentance being offered them by spirit. This led to my introduction to the system of Anuism, which led to Urianism.
I had finally found my family. I moved away from my worldly family and in with Uriah and his wife. I began a very difficult and rigorous training. I learned to channel, mostly aspects of myself but sometime also entities outside of myself. I learned to truly praise and worship. I learned the seven devotions. I learned the basics of autowriting and was witness to innumerable autowritings and channelings done by Uriah and his wife.
I was beat down repeatedly by spirit. Shredded and eventually remade, I grew up and became a man. I learned how to be responsible, to hold a job, manage finances, manage the departments of my place of work. But more importantly, I learned something wonderful.
I learned to let go of my past gifts. The gifts that thrived from attention and were of either the systems of the prison we are in or were of my own imaginings. I began, slowly, to hear the real voice of Spirit.
I did not trust myself at first, in fact still don't fully. But I had conformations along the way I could not deny.
Also learned, was one of the most valuable lessons of all, that of the phenomenon of filter. No matter how clear my mind and heart are, I will always have a piece of me in every message I get from Spirit. The communications that come through me have to do just that...come through me. In coming through me they are altered and affected by me, just as water passing through a dirty cloth will become impure. So I have learned to always accept that I may be wrong and may be only hearing my own imaginings.
In addition to all the things I learned, I must say that I witnessed a number of miracles during my time in Urianism. I will write of these in other posts.
It is true that this is a bit of a ramble, but I haven't really told this story before.
Many more things could be said about my journey to Urianism but one thing I have also learned is that too much detail is only interesting to the one telling the story.